Sometimes I feel stupid talking to you because it often crosses my mind that you might not exist. But I do talk to you, and maybe that means I believe in you enough for the moment.
I need to ask you something.
Someone at church the other day asked you to “draw our worship from us”. It really helped me think about it. I always just stand there in church trying to sing, trying to worship, to feel and I don’t get anywhere. I don’t know what worship is, and I can’t make myself feel it.
But God I know that our whole life is supposed to be worship, and I want that to be what my life is like, but I can’t do it.
Please would you draw my worship from me? Take my life – my stuff, my friendships, my work and make it yours. Draw out of all that a life of worship to you. I want to do it, but all I can do is get up, drink tea, drive somewhere, whatever. I can’t make it worship, but I want to live inside you, and I know you can help. Will you?
Someone who led a service at church the other day had a slot where they asked us to spend time in silence, in worship to God, telling Him how much we loved Him and then just being with Him. At the end of it, the speaker said that if we found that time boring and all we were aware of was how quiet it was and how uncomfortable the bench was, we didn’t have to feel like we’d failed. He said it was still worship – and that most of the time worship isn’t an amazing experience where we ‘feel’ stuff. Someone else told me it’s like eating: occasionally you have an amazing meal which you will remember always – the food is good, the company and atmosphere are great. Usually it’s not like that – but you have to eat the ordinary meals in order to exist long enough to experience the amazing ones. [And this is Em by the way, I just forgot to sign in.]
I like the eating analogy.
Also maybe sleeping.
Perhaps I could simultaneously do worship and sleeping?